When I’m 64

Growing older is inevitable, as are birthdays. And yes, I just celebrated another year. Sixty-four isn’t a significant number, although every year we are here should be treated as a major accomplishment. Still, for some reason it really got me thinking about mortality, ancestry, and the philosophical aspects of aging. Let’s blame the Beatles and their hit When I’m Sixty-Four. I always thought that would be such a cute song to sing when I reached age 64. But really? How realistic are the lyrics? Maybe then, in 1966, they were relatable. When he wrote the song, a much younger Paul McCartney probably never gave much thought to what he would be like when he reached 64, let alone 81. Can you believe that? Sir McCartney is 81! Where does the time go?

If you’re not that familiar with the lyrics to When I’m Sixty-Four, they basically tell the story of two people in love and their plans to grow old together. The lyrics speak of mending fuses, knitting a sweater by the fire, Sunday drives, gardening, a vacation cottage, and grandchildren on the knee. Hmmmm. A different perspective of the average 64-year-old these days, I think.

Perhaps those lyrics better describe my parents when they were in their sixties, some 35 years ago. It was definitely a different time. Sadly, I never talked to my parents about aging. It wasn’t a taboo subject; it was just not something that ever came up. I remember my mom and a friend sharing the occasional joke about hot flashes, but other than that, it just wasn’t a common topic.

Are we as old as our parents were at the same age? Am I as old as my mom was at 64? I’m trying to remember what she was like back then, at the age of 64. I do know she was beginning to show signs of Alzheimer’s, so of course that really aged her. It aged my dad also, as he was her prime caregiver. My parents, had they lived, would both be a year or two short of 100 this year. How would they feel about having a daughter in her sixties? I suppose if you’re 100, 64 is still quite young. It’s all about perspective.

Biologically, there are many things that succumb to the years as they did when our parents were our age, and as they will when our children are our age. There’s no turning back that clock! The ways we are equipped to deal with those changes have evolved. We have better medications, better information, and better technology. I can take things to help my joints survive a gruelling game of pickleball. I know what foods I should eat (and shouldn’t) to lower my cholesterol or reduce inflammation. If I work at it, I can avoid some of the wear and tear on my body that my mom had to put up with. And if I was so inclined, there are a myriad of procedures I could undergo to look youthful. (No, I’m not even considering that. I have my own natural Botox that keeps many of those wrinkles at bay.) We know that smoking is bad for us, and too much sun can cause skin cancer or at the least, major wrinkles. Something I haven’t thought of is dental care. That has come a long way in the last few decades. There are many new ways to treat some of the issues that naturally occur in our mouths as we age. And remember, our jaw supports our cheeks and lips, so when our teeth are removed, the shape of our face will change. Everything will slope forward. Again, thanks to advances in dental care, we can now rescue our jaw (and face) with implants, bridges, and other paraphernalia. Pricey? For sure. Worth it? I suppose it is if it means we can still chew our food and look young while doing it.

Aside from some of the things we can’t prevent, there are other reasons why we are staying younger longer than our parents. For example, women on average are giving birth at a later age. It has been proven that along with the negative impact of lack of sleep, women’s bodies age after birth. So that is slowed down. We are also more aware of our health and more demanding of our doctors. We are no longer content to just take a pill—second opinions are common and many of us research what ails us before engaging with a medical professional. Consumerism plays to staying young and active: just think of all the ads that show seniors engaged in active living, “youth in a bottle” and sunscreen in just about everything.

Unless you have health issues, I think aging really is a state of mind and everyone has their own perception of life. I know 60-year-olds who seem much older than me, but I know people in their 70s with energy that I envy.

Do I feel my age? How should I feel? How does the average, relatively healthy person in their sixties feel? Sure, there are times when I don’t stand up so quickly (or do and wish I hadn’t!) and there are things I try to avoid because I know I will pay for it later. I don’t always remember everything, but that is also largely due to not paying attention. My brain doesn’t grasp new concepts as quickly as it used to. But really, I’m more preoccupied with the things I can and want to do, not those I can’t. And I think that is a big reason why we are younger than our parents were. We have so many more opportunities at our age. I remember my dad talking about retiring and just relaxing and playing golf. My mom, who did not work outside of the home once she married my dad back in 1943 or so, was content to get her hair done every Friday afternoon and play bridge every now and then with the “ladies”. It was as if retirement signified the beginning of the end. To me, and I suspect many others recently retired, retirement is just another chapter and one filled with new adventures and possibilities.

Those adventures are only possible because we have been able to maintain our health and fix what is wrong. Look how common knee and hip replacements are. We are becoming the bionic generation! (Note to young people looking at possible careers: go into Orthopedics!)

As retired folk, we are taking up new hobbies, experimenting with alternative wellness options, practicing meditation, yoga, and drumming. We are travelling more. We can stay connected with family and friends all over the world thanks to social media and the internet. We can learn so much, and so much easier, than our parents. Travelling is even easier. Well, sort of if you take the lack of service from our airlines out of the picture. I think we may even be better off financially. More people have pensions to retire on and were able to buy a home 30 years ago when the economy was in a better place. I don’t mean to make light of the situation for many seniors, who don’t have a pension and don’t own their own home or have family to help them. These folks are caught in a hard place as there isn’t a lot of government assistance available. Those of us who have the resources to live the life we want don’t realize how fortunate we are.

It’s not even about “feeling young”. It’s about being present and living the best life that you can at this moment. Whatever your age may be. As the young fellow in the Starbucks drive-thru said, “It’s a beautiful day. The sun is out. It’s warm. We’re here.” I’ll take that optimism with my strawberry matcha latte any day.