Perfect Strangers

The other day at the grocery store, there was an older fellow behind me with only two cartons of milk in his cart, while I had several items. I asked him if he would like to go ahead of me, but he said no because he wanted to stand and rest a bit. I guess he found my smile and chuckle inviting, and he proceeded to tell me his story. A while back, he slipped and broke a bone in his hip. His doctors were considering a hip replacement but decided that since his hips weren’t giving him any problems prior to the break, it was best to just let the broken bone heal. Since then, he has been taking it easy and using a cane and sometimes a store grocery cart, which is why he had one for only two cartons of milk. Then he told me that in November, he had a major heart attack in the middle of the night and ended up spending 46 days in the hospital. He added that the nurses really liked him because he didn’t complain and was friendly compared to so many other patients who “cussed, swore, and complained” all the time. They even gave him a private room at no charge.

“They thought they were going to lose me,” he admitted.

“You are very strong,” I interjected.

“Well, how old do you think I am?” he asked.

This is when I got nervous. I am not a very good judge of age, and I didn’t want to offend him by guessing too high or patronize him by guessing too low. So, I went with a safe bet and said mid-70s.

He laughed and said, “I was 95 on my last birthday.” I was dumbfounded. Mid-80s maybe, but 95? No way.

He proceeded to tell me that he had been up since 4 a.m. He had driven an hour and a half out to his farm, hauled an old dresser out of the storage barn (he had to take the drawers out), got it into the back of his truck, and drove back into town. He stopped to buy milk but planned to go home to unload the dresser and start repairing it.

“It’s a perfectly good piece of furniture, and someone may want it.” I suggested he just get some rest, and he said, “Nah, I have lots of work to do today, and if I stop to rest, I will go to sleep, and I don’t have time for that.”

What an inspiration!

People are fascinating. I have always loved watching people, trying to figure out what they do, where they are from, and what kind of life they live. My imagination can really run wild. I often wonder if I ever come even remotely close to the truth!

As I get older, I find it more important to push the imagination aside and listen to someone, if lucky enough to catch a chatty stranger. No, I don’t go out and intentionally strike up a conversation with a stranger on the street. That would be creepy and quite dangerous. But when the opportunity presents itself, like in a line-up or in a store, I will gladly listen.  Listening to others’ stories may provide insights and wisdom we may not have found otherwise. These little stories can also help develop an appreciation for the little things in life—the things we tend to overlook. It can put our own lives into perspective, and we feel less alone knowing that others have experienced similar joys or heartbreaks. We are all part of the big picture.

I ended up chatting with a young man in a line-up at the bank. This was weird because I rarely go into a bank anymore. I think I was picking out pesos for a trip to Mexico. Anyway, this young fellow was very agitated and mumbling about how slowly the line was moving. Others, including myself, were visibly nervous to be in such proximity to this fellow. He finally caught my eye and told me he was having a bad day. He had just gotten out of the Dubé Centre (for mental health) the night before and stayed at a friend’s place. Unfortunately, someone had stolen his wallet and his ID. He said he had money, but the bank wouldn’t let him access it without ID. When he called the bank, they told him he would have to come in person and speak with a manager. He doubted that they would help him. “I’m a bit crazy, you know.” I must have nodded and said “Uh huh” and “mmmm” at the appropriate times because he gradually became less agitated and seemed a bit more relaxed. And then he thanked me for listening. “Most people won’t talk to someone like me. Thank you for listening. Thank you for not turning away.” All I could do was say, “You are welcome.” And then the line moved forward, and the manager came and took him into his office. I hope everything works out for him.

That one-sided conversation reminded me about the importance of empathy and understanding. After all, it takes all kinds of people to make the world go around.

I think COVID showed most of us that we are capable of entertaining ourselves, that we can function in isolation, and that we are all remarkable human beings. It also showed us that others have shared experiences, and we are now more open to hearing about the stories of others. They sure stir my curiosity.

Of course, now that I am retired, I hear a lot of stories about others’ retirement journeys. These stories give me insights and inspiration to add to my own journey. I have gained a fresh perspective on aging gracefully just by listening to the stories of others.

Hearing people’s stories is also a way to make friends and build connections. Sharing personal anecdotes helps us find common ground and create meaningful bonds with others. Through storytelling, we learn that we are not alone in our experiences and that others have gone through similar ups and downs.

Just the other day, I decided to go to Costco and stock up on a few things. As I wiggled my way through the crowded aisles, I passed a woman handing out some appetizer. I smiled and shook my head. But before I could continue down the aisle, she said brightly, “I really like your dress.” Her comment took me by surprise because I was wearing an old dress that I hadn’t worn in a long time. It was a simple blue cotton thing, worn loosely and featuring big pockets. “Oh, thank you,” I said. That opened the door to a conversation about where I bought the dress, shopping challenges, and how she came to live here. She proceeded to tell me her story, casting quick glances at her appetizer station as people came and went. It turns out she is originally from Pakistan but has lived in a few places, including Greece, which she loved. She came to Canada when her husband found work here. She was a healer, using reiki to help people. Since living in Canada, she has written a book and held down two jobs. She is looking for like-minded people to come together and collectively make a difference in the world. She said she wished we would have met in a coffee shop. Such an interesting person. Maybe we will have that coffee someday and continue our conversation about clothing and chakras and changing the world.

Interesting Reads & Things
30 Unbelievably Strange Encounters With Random Strangers That These People Just Can’t Forget About | Bored Panda

3 random strangers make an awesome song – Bing video

Talk To Strangers. It Will Change Your Life. – Bing video

1000 Random Conversation Starters [The Ultimate List] (enlightio.com)

Why a stranger’s hello can boost your well-being: The power of weak social ties : Goats and Soda : NPR

How to Talk to a Stranger (verywellmind.com)