Seeking Discomfort? It’s a good thing.

The other day I went for coffee with my friend Carla. I admired her sage-green sweatshirt and commented on the words printed on the front: seek discomfort. I didn’t know this, but there is a whole philosophy based on the phrase. Seek Discomfort was formed in 2018 by the founders of the YouTube channel Yes Theory. The fellows used the Seek Discomfort phrase to push themselves out of their comfort zone. It became so popular that they created a whole movement, including YouTube videos and merch.

I love what they stand for. Seeking discomfort is the only way to learn. This doesn’t mean physical pain, of course, but rather things that make our heart beat a little faster, get the blood pumping, and make us question ourselves.

I’ve blogged about stepping out of our comfort zone before (check out this oldie). But every now and then, something happens that reminds me of just how important and exciting it is to do something new.

My friend Fran Dobmeier, 65, was flying high this January. Literally. She went parasailing while on vacation in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

“Parasailing was on my bucket list. I’ve wanted to do it since I first saw it a few years ago,” admits Fran. I watched them take people up the first week with no issues. So, the second week I had to do it, and it was great. It was a fun experience with no regrets. Of course, I was a little nervous and excited at first, but once I was up there, it was so calm and beautiful. I’m so glad I had the opportunity to go and fly like a bird.”

What Fran did was remarkable. Ever since I’ve known her, she has shown a determination to get things done. This includes crossing things off her bucket list, even if it is a bit out of her comfort zone.

Stepping out of our comfort zone is easier said than done. It is hard to overcome our fears, especially when we reach the age where physical issues can change our perspective on some of the things we wanted to do 10, 20, or 30 years ago.

This winter I overcame a fear and crossed something off my list. Although it wasn’t as exciting as parasailing a few hundred feet in the air, for me it was a big deal. You see, I’m afraid of water. When I was 10, I accidentally walked into the deep end of my hometown’s only pool (at the time). Fortunately, I was pulled out before any physical damage was done, but as my family didn’t swim, I didn’t have anyone to throw me back in or encourage me to continue swimming. I’ve been battling that fear for 55 years.

Although I’ve always wanted to swim, it has never been that much of an issue. My husband swims, and he always went in the lake with the kids. (And yes, I made sure they took swimming lessons!) But last year, our Merida hosts decided to put a pool in the back of our home-away-from-home. Sigh. The pool isn’t huge, but it is beautiful. A tropical oasis with soft, coloured lights at night. I dreamt about how peaceful it would be to enjoy the cool water in the evening surrounded by the glow of those lights. But alas, all I could muster up the courage for was to go in the shallow end, which was about three feet deep. And I stayed far away from the steps leading to the deeper part. This year, I vowed to make it to the deep end. Finally, after three weeks, I managed to get down the two steps into the deeper water! Thank goodness I had my husband hovering beside me. The next day, I managed to get down both steps, and grabbing tightly onto the side, I walked all the way to the end. On my tiptoes. Barely breathing. But I did it. I quickly discovered the benefits of having a pool in 35-degree weather. It was exhilarating, but I was still quite nervous. This pattern continued for a few days until I eventually found that the little blue and white filter that was always bobbing around would serve as a buoy. I used it to propel my fear-laden body (and soul) up and down the length of the deep end. Finally, this mermaid pushed the buoy and her fears aside and began swimming! What a proud moment!

And yes, I did go into the pool one evening. It was a wonderful experience!

That feeling, if I can remember it, will help me going forward. It’s that pride, that sense of accomplishment when you finally do something you’ve always wanted to but didn’t have the courage. It’s that stepping out of your comfort zone. In my case, leaping!

It’s not a bad thing to stay in your comfort zone. We all need that stress-free space to relax and feel safe. It is nice to have a low-maintenance zone with no surprises. But leaving that space once in a while has huge benefits, especially for older adults. It gives a boost of confidence, a shot of adrenaline, and the chance to learn something new. It’s all about balance.

If there’s something you are thinking of trying, whether it be jumping out of a plane, learning a new dance, or trying a new recipe, take Fran’s advice: “Just do it. You’ll never regret it. It’s the things you don’t do that you regret! Just have fun!”

Interesting Reads & Things

https://www.youtube.com/seekdiscomfort