I came across an interesting book: Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words. It’s authored by Anglo-Irish poet David Whyte and published in December of 2014. (Do you realize that was 11 years ago?)
Consolations is a book of fifty-two short essays, each featuring a specific word and arranged in alphabetical order. Topics include “Alone,” “Beauty,” “Despair,” “Longing,” “Self-Knowledge,” and “Vulnerability.” Each essay is 2–5 pages in length.
While I haven’t read the book yet, I’ve read a few reviews, and it does seem quite interesting. It’s an interesting concept, that’s for sure. With the lens of a poet and perhaps philosopher, David Whyte looks at everyday words that we take for granted and puts another spin on them. For example, the word procrastination becomes a time of ripening, and hiding becomes an act of freedom.
In other words, he takes commonly used words that have a more negative connotation and puts a more positive spin on them.
I found a review by a Tom Neilson, in which he gives a couple of examples. For example, the word “despair.” As a psychotherapist, Neilson says that despair is usually seen as a sign of depression that can lead to suicide. It is a painful state of mind that needs to be fixed. Whyte feels differently. He describes despair as “a necessary and seasonal state of repair, a temporary healing absence, an internal physiological and psychological winter when our previous forms of participation take a rest.”
It is interesting to think about how we interpret words and how our interpretation influences the things we do, how we act, and how we capture those moments. Think about how difficult that is for someone learning the language. Suddenly, a word that should by rights have a simple, singular meaning takes on a whole new context when said in a certain tone or used to accompany other words.
Language on its own is a mystery. How is it that we can make a sound out of our mouth, which transfers to the ear, which is then translated by the brain into a word or thought? And, with more than 7000 languages in the world, who came up with all these words and sounds?
Words are a vital part of how we see the world and how others see us. They are very influential and carry a power that we often underestimate. How many times have you blurted something out and then, after, realized how rude or hostile it sounded? I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had that 10-year-old conversation race through my brain at 3 am! With social media so popular and texting and messaging, we are losing the art of face-to-face conversation, and I’m afraid there is a tendency to choose our words with less thought. You can’t say everything with an emoji.
Using positive language can make you feel great, while negative language can amplify any stress or hard feelings you may be experiencing. A few years ago, I was late to meet my friend for coffee. (I think I have mentioned this in a previous blog, but I can’t find it, so humour me.) Anyway, I had just listened to an interview about how always apologizing creates an unfair environment with one person trying to seek redemption and another feeling superior, even though they may not realize it. So, when I met my friend, rather than say, “I am so sorry,” I thanked her for waiting for me. It totally changed the vibes of our visit. So simple!
There is a fair amount of information out there about the benefits of positive language in the workplace. And with children, care homes, or people with dementia. As usual, there is not a lot of info for those of us who are new to the retirement scene. It’s not difficult to figure out, though. Just think of your own situation. As our bones start to creak, our skin starts to sag, and our energy levels dip just a bit (well, maybe a lot!), it is easy to think negatively about aging. But rather than complain, we should be thinking positively about our bones. They have carried us well over the years and continue to do so. Our skin shows the signs of wisdom and experience. And our energy levels haven’t dropped; we are just preferring to do quieter activities.
Right?
Check in with yourself every now and then. What words are you using frequently? “I hate this weather!” is a phrase being uttered a lot right now in my province as a spring snowstorm blows in, bringing snow and closing highways. Maybe we should say, “Wow, next week it will be on the plus side. The snow will melt!” That’s positive. And hopefully, realistic
In the meantime, if you decide to read Whyte’s book, let me know what you thought.
Interesting Reads & Things
Wanderings Art 