How Random is That?

My head is spinning! What should I order? When should I play? Where should I go? There are so many choices in life, so many decisions to make. So many reasons to second-guess those decisions. When did it get so complicated?

Sure, my decisions are not life-changing. They won’t change history, and they won’t start a war. They are significant only to me. Well, maybe to a few family members, but really, they aren’t going to break the bank.

So why can it be so stressful to choose?

Growing up we only had three TV channels. CBC, the local station, and the French channel. There was one radio station, or maybe two if the weather was good. One movie theatre. And restaurants? Well, in my small town there were a few Chinese food restaurants, an A&W, and one or two other Denver Sandwich or Beef Dip type of places. You chose Chinese, a drive-through burger, or something that mom could make at home, so you ended up staying at home.

I don’t have to tell you about all the choices nowadays. You know them. Looking at a menu can create anxiety. Is it FOMO? Regret? Self-doubt? Lack of confidence in decision-making? Guilt? OK. Now I’m spiralling.

When you were a kid, did you ever spin a globe, close your eyes, and just stab at a random place? Then pretend that was where you would travel to? I remember doing that. It was so much fun. And if you’d never heard of the place, you could look it up in the encyclopaedia. LOL. It would be so much easier now! The key word in this scenario is random.

However, random is often associated with something negative. We hear stories of a random stranger doing something harmful. Or a random stroke of misfortune. Why is this? It’s because of that old negativity bias. Say what? The negativity bias is when negative things have more of an impact on us than positive ones. I mean really, how many times have you heard about a painful dental experience? Does anyone ever say, “Wow, I had a filling, and it was amazing!” No. We hear about the car crashes. We don’t hear about how many vehicles passed over that same section of road without encountering any harm. We hear when people are sick. Very rarely does someone call just to say how great they feel. Most humans gravitate towards negativity. Just look at the news!

Randomness is associated with a lack of control. There was no planning involved. No organizing, no scheduling. It just happened. That lack of control and uncertainty can make us feel uncomfortable.

But what if we tried to turn the tables? Could randomness be good for us? Kit Yates thinks so. He wrote a book entitled How to Expect the Unexpected: The Science of Making Predictions and the Art of Knowing When Not To (October 31, 2023 by Basic Books). Kit is an author and mathematician and works at the Centre for Mathematical Biology at the University of Bath. He lives in Oxford, England.

In this book, which I must admit I have not read so I’m relying on reviews, Kt uses math, biology, psychology, sociology, medicine, economic theory, and physics, to help us understand the concept of uncertainty. The book is supposed to provide the tools needed to learn about predictions, how to spot fake forecasts and encourage spontaneity or randomness.

Randomness can wake up our spirit. It can get the adrenaline going. Imagine how you would feel if you had to just pick a place on the globe. Well, let’s bring it home and say, a new restaurant. Just go. Who cares what the reviews say. Who cares if you like that type of food. Just go. Your adrenaline will pump. Your anxiety will energize you. And who knows, you may find something you really like!

Most of us strive for some kind of structure in our lives. In fact, that is one of the biggest challenges of retirement: the lack of structure. Suddenly we don’t have to set the alarm. We don’t have to be out the door by 8:30 am to get to work by 9. We don’t have deadlines or meetings or other scheduled activities. Sure, we have some scheduled activities but trust me, no one is going to care if I show up at the pickleball court at 1 pm sharp. I can go on any random day, at any random time.

Allowing randomness in our lives can lead to more fulfillment. It will create experiences that we may never have if we stick to our routine and what is familiar.  It will ease that sense of guilt that we aren’t doing enough. There’s this thing called choice-induced paralysis. It happens when the brain gets overwhelmed by the number of choices and options out there. People experiencing choice-induced paralysis will have trouble making any kind of a decision. Inevitably, they skip the process and either overthink it, leading to stress and burnout, or adopt an “I don’t care” attitude and ignore the task at hand. No decision is made. That leads to missing out. You can avoid that by making a random decision or doing a random act.

I guess the secret to making successful random decisions is to just go with it. There’s no value in second guessing. So, you flip a coin. Or draw a straw. Don’t worry about the result or what would have happened if you would have chosen differently. If nothing else, at least you will learn from your decision. And learning is what life is about, right? Be like Joanne, who did random acts of kindness for her 70th birthday. Those random acts made her happy. They created a sense of purpose, and she rose to the occasion.

There are lots of ways to get some randomness into your life. Embrace it! You can simply try a new recipe. Hop in the car and go on a day trip. Attend an event that is outside your personal preferences. Flip a coin or use a digital number generator to decide. Don’t get me wrong, many of the decisions we are forced to make require a lot of thought and planning. Randomness isn’t the best option for many things. But when the opportunity to explore, and to get out of our comfort zone presents itself, we should excitedly take it.

It’s been a long day. I think my randomness tonight will come from flipping through the movies and picking a random title to watch. Care to join me?

Interesting Reads & Things

https://alexandreweber.substack.com/p/why-randomness-is-the-key-to-a-more

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-purpose/201911/can-you-accept-the-randomness-of-life

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20230817-how-randomness-can-help-you-to-make-better-decisions