Create Your Narrative

Last month, I re-triggered a back injury. I couldn’t stand straight. I couldn’t walk. It was nasty. It stopped me in my tracks. I had to cancel several activities that I had been looking forward to. I cried a lot. I questioned my mobility and my future.

Then I caved and went to a physiotherapist. I say “caved” because it takes a lot for me to go to a health care professional. Sure, I go to the doctor for my annual but even making that appointment is a challenge. Come to think of it, I need to get my eyes checked. Aaargh. That’s a problem for another day.

Anyway, the physio assigned a few exercises, and voila, within a few days I was healing. And now, six weeks after, it is just a not-so-distant memory. I can even play pickleball!

Being incapacitated for a few weeks really spiralled me into self-reflection. I’m not into hardcore activities, but I do enjoy playing pickleball, going for walks, and well, having the freedom to get up and go shopping or for coffee or whatever else I may feel like doing. When you are dealing with mobility issues, things become quite difficult.

It got me to thinking about identity. Of course, DNA plays a pretty big role in our identity. But, what about how we see ourselves? How others see us? When we were working, we identified with our jobs. I, like most, wore several hats: the worker, the mother, the wife, the volunteer. Retired folks still wear several hats. Of course, not the work hat, thankfully, because that one no longer fits me! My kids are older, so new people in my life don’t see me as so-and-so’s mom. Wife doesn’t even come into play much because when my husband and I go out together, we are a couple and not identified as “my wife” or “my husband”. So that leaves activities and hobbies to create my identity.

Nowadays, I’m more likely to be recognized from pickleball and mahjong. And that’s fine. But those two things don’t define me. I do other things. I do art, I write, and I attend classes. I watch TV. I crochet. I daydream. (I could call it meditating, but it is what it is.) Those things tend to be more solitary or smaller group activities. So, when you take away the ability to do an activity you identify with, what do you have?

Maybe we put too much importance on our identity. I mean, does it really matter? Yes! Identity is important. Identity shapes us. It moulds our thoughts and behaviour. Our identity is what our beliefs are based on, and that is what influences our existence. Our identity is our own thing, and no one else’s. Nowadays it’s about the only thing we can call our own.

I guess without a sense of identity, we would just float around without an anchor. Drifting, day to day without purpose. What a waste of time that would be! Although it is always nice to do that occasionally, coffee and book in hand.

Recently, my husband and I attended an afternoon concert featuring Dave Cyca and Mark Penner. The concert was hosted by the Eastview Neighborhood Seniors’ Hub Club. Talk about synchronicity! I had never heard of Dave Cyca. But wow, his music really hit home. One song really resonated with me. That song is entitled Write Another Line. Coincidentally, I had been working on this blog that morning. So, when Dave started strumming, my ears pricked up. And then came this verse:

“Day by day you watch it all unfold
Sometimes you think that everything’s been told
You see that life is just a speck in time
You string it all together with pieces that you find
It’s your story, write another line”

How honest is that? It’s a way of looking at our identity. It is fluid. It changes all the time depending on where we are (and not just physically but emotionally), what we are doing, and who we are surrounded by. And it’s never too late to change that identity. We should embrace that fluidity that allows us to grow and change direction. Pivot. Make the best of a situation. Of course, our DNA has a major say in who we are, but we can make adjustments that nourish our soul. Like Dave’s song says, you must take bits and pieces that you find along the way and put them together. No one else can write your story.

Of course, our DNA has a major say in who we are, but we can make adjustments that nourish our soul. Like Dave’s song says, you must take bits and pieces that you find along the way and put them together. No one else can write your story.

Dave has graciously shared Write Another Line. Have a listen. Give it some thought. How many chapters does your story have?