We all have that one friend (or possibly two) who is constantly late. Late for coffee, late for dinner, late for appointments. They don’t do it intentionally; it just seems to happen.
I hate being late for things. To me, it shows a lack of respect for the other person’s time. One day, on my way to meet a friend for coffee, I realized I had left my phone at home. Since I had a few errands to run later, I needed my phone. After all, that is when you will run out of gas, get a flat tire, or something worse. So, knowing I would be late, I turned around and went back home to retrieve my cell. As soon as I picked up my phone, I sent her a text explaining. I felt overwhelmed with guilt and went over my apology speech several times during the drive. Then, I heard a radio interview that really opened my mind. I don’t remember who was being interviewed, but the basic message was to stop saying sorry and instead thank the person for their patience. Or thank them for waiting for you. The reasoning for this is that if you say you’re sorry, it sets the tone for the meeting, and you are the disadvantaged one. You are also acknowledging the other person’s graciousness and patience, which will hopefully dispel any negativity they may have.
Part of the Canadian identity is saying sorry. We’re sorry for everything, whether it deserves an apology or not. So how do we tell if “I’m sorry” is authentic or reflexive?
I’m sorry, but now I’m going to switch back to being late. (Sorry, but I am Canadian, eh?)
Anyway, I recently heard that being late for things has some scientific reasons behind it. Last year, a Tik Tokker racked up millions of views after sharing her story about asking for workplace accommodations around her time blindness during a job interview. She was humiliated and discredited online. One thing is for sure: the viral video brought time blindness into the public forum, and the debate was on. Everyone weighed in on the subject, as people tend to do on social media. From naysayers to those relating to her experience and even health care professionals, people were talking about it.
Time blindness? I’ve heard of colour blindness, but time blindness is new to me. Time blindness is the inability to recognize how much time has passed or estimate how long something will take. Although not a formal diagnosis, time blindness can negatively impact a person’s ability to plan, organize, and execute. It’s a cognitive condition, not a standalone diagnosis, and is often a characteristic of something else, such as ADHD or autism.
What are some of the symptoms of time blindness? It obviously affects the ability to judge how much time is needed for some tasks, making time management very difficult. This leads to procrastination, chronic lateness and missed deadlines, difficulty with time transitions or changing from one activity to another, impulsiveness, the feeling that time is moving too quickly, and difficulty planning ahead.
So, if you or your friend are always missing appointments because you are too focused on another task, it could be time blindness. Or, if you have a habit of overcommitting and find yourself booking several meetings, appointments, social activities, etc. all at once, it could be time blindness.
The latter is something I have always struggled with. I remember in my previous (work) life, booking too many meetings out of the office and then rushing to get reports or proposals finished on time.
The good news is that time blindness can be managed. You can use calendars, timers, and alarms. You can also break larger tasks into manageable chunks or prioritize them. Try developing a routine; share your schedule with a trusted friend (who doesn’t also have time blindness!) or family member. And, of course, practice mindfulness. For those who really get “into the zone, it’s critical to be mindful of time and your surroundings. Always be present; it is easier said than done.
Of course, if none of these things work and time blindness significantly impacts your life, seek professional help.
Now, I’m not saying that you have ADHD or ASD just because you struggle with time. Most of us have issues at some point in our lives. We may have a lot going on, or we may not have enough going on, like being on vacation. Time takes on a completely different reality when you don’t have to do anything except relax. One year, while enjoying our stay in Mexico, my husband and I were bemoaning the fact that we were leaving the next day to return to the land of ice and snow. When he tried to check in for our flights online, after several frustrating attempts, we realized we had our days mixed up. We weren’t leaving the next day; we were leaving the day after that! Time had completely escaped us.
Life happens, right? The important thing is to be aware of your habits, and if you are consistently late, try to leave early or set the darn alarm! Text your friend and tell them you are running behind, so they don’t sit and wonder if you are going to show up.
My rumbling tummy is telling me I have worked right through lunch. No alarm needed here! Until next time. . .
Interesting Reads & Things
Say “Thank You for Your Patience” Instead of Saying Sorry – Fight Hatred
When “I’m Sorry” Is Too Much | Psychology Today
Sorry — can we talk about why Canadians apologize so much? | CBC Canada 2017
Running Late Again: Time Blindness and My ADHD Brain (additudemag.com)
Time blindness went viral on TikTok. Is it a real ADHD symptom? (usatoday.com)
Do you have ‘time blindness’ or are you just late? (thestar.com)
Is ‘Time Blindness’ Making You Chronically Late? | Lifehacker
ADHD Time Blindness – The Black Hole Explained…. 😱 (youtube.com)
ADHD, time blindness and what to do. (youtube.com)
What is time blindness and is that why you’re always late? (youtube.com)
Wanderings Art 