How would you feel if you woke up one morning unable to do the things you normally do. We all hope that it won’t happen to us, but who decides that? Why does it happen to some and not others?
At my age, it is not uncommon to hear of someone having a stroke, a debilitating disease or other issues that change their mobility. People are no longer able to take part in various activities. I know from having the odd back issue how hard it is to do everyday things. But what if you could no longer work, or pursue your passions?
Chris Relitz is an inspirational example of just what you can do when your life is thrown upside down. For 19 years, Chris was a psychiatric and ICU nurse. Then one day, in 2018, he was brutally attacked by a patient. He suffered broken facial bones, eye damage and a brain injury. Two years later, he had a stroke. He couldn’t read. He couldn’t work. He could barely function. And he was young. Many of us would have given up and been resentful of what life had handed us. Not Chris.
His wife bought him a paint by number kit, even though he had never expressed an interest in art. Then, he heard about a comic book where coffee was being used as paint. Coffee? Yes. Coffee. So of course, he decided to give it a try. The rest is history. Chris is now a highly sought after artist who paints beautiful pictures using coffee. His work can be found in various galleries, and he is establishing a global name for himself. Check out some of his art!
I was fortunate to take part in a workshop given by Chris and sponsored by The Refinery. All I knew was that it was a “Coffee Painting Workshop”. I was intrigued. I love coffee but had never considered using it as paint. I mean it’s not something you think about as you sip your daily java on the back deck. Well, I do now, but that’s beside the point.
Once Chris began to speak, it was obvious that I and other participants were in for more than a basic lesson in coffee painting. He spoke eloquently about his attack, and humorously about his recovery. His sense of humour put everyone at ease. His humble attitude made even me think I could paint a scene using coffee. And with his patience guidance, I did paint a scene. Yeah, I know, mine will never adorn a gallery wall. And that’s okay. I’m not that kind of an artist, and my rendering still smells delicious! I did learn about an exciting “new” art medium. And even more importantly, I learned about resilience.
Resilience is more than bouncing back from something traumatic. It is not just getting back on your feet again. Resilience is about adapting to better handle the curve balls life throws at you. It is about re-learning, re-thinking and re-living. The American Psychological Association defines it as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility.”
Mental Health Research Canada states that 66% of Canadians are resilient. Their research also shows that those 55 years of age and older and who have good relationships with family and friends, tend to be the most resilient. In fact, a study conducted by social workers at the University of Toronto’s Institute for Life Course & Aging, shows that older people can build resilience and regain optimal well being.
I’ve never given much thought to resilience. Either you are or you aren’t. But I realize now that resilience is very important as we age. The older you get, the more changes you face such as loss, health issues, life transitions (yours and those of your children/grandchildren), all those fun things. If we are resilient, we can adapt to these changes and take the best path forward to continue to enjoy life to its fullest.
So how do we build resilience? Well, it’s the same old story. Stay active. Stay well. Stay fit (or get fit!). Build social connections. Find activities to enjoy. Nurture relationships.
All these things get you out of your head. My head is scary place to be at the best of times. But when I am ruminating, well you don’t want to go there. So, I know that it is important to honour emotions. Feel the feelings, acknowledge the fears and frustrations. We need to move through them. Not past them, but through them. This will help build up mental toughness. And that builds resilience.
How resilient are you? Take this quiz and find out. It appears I have some work to do.
“Sometimes carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement.” Words of wisdom from Albert Camus.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatoon/painting-coffee-healing-1.7362536
https://paherald.sk.ca/art-has-been-a-journey-for-coffee-artist-chris-relitz
Wanderings Art 